Oh goodness, how do I start this post. I have a million thoughts going through my head and no time to process a single one. I get very frustrated when this happens. Life is good, I love my life, but sometimes it really comes at me full force. Nothing bad, just a lot to do. When I have a lot to do I tend to feel like I am failing because I should not allow things to stack up like this. Yes, I have to remind myself often, I am not superwoman. It takes a while (like days) for that to sink in sometimes. This frustration is amplified when I have no quiet/down time. My lunch hour is usually that quiet/down time, or sometimes after everyone is in bed. This week, my little one is working with me. A camp she was enrolled in for this week has cancelled. She isn't hard to watch, however, she talks or snaps, or makes noises with her mouth, or has her kindle up just a little too loud. This is my week to work four 10 hour days. So for that time we are in my 10x10 office together.
I killer her hamster yesterday. That didn't help my failure thoughts at all! It was a little past time to clean his cage and I felt bad for him so before I left for work yesterday we put his cage on the back porch. I just knew he would love the breeze and the significant change of scenery. Apparently hamsters are rather sensitive to temperature...I do believe yesterday was the hottest day of the year so far.
As I type this I think of something I need to do and wander of to take care of it. Ha!
I have not been making healthy eating choices the past couple of days. In fact, I have let my frustrations get the best of me and I have emotionally eaten. I hate that! I should be so over emotional eating by now. Today I am doing well so far.
So seriously, this time I am taking to type this post is my time to breathe and refocus. To get a grasp on reality again instead of living and reacting to the lie that I have no control over my time right now. I just finished a book titled Essentialism by Greg McKeown. I think everybody should read this book. Here is a link to help convince you to buy the book and read it: http://gregmckeown.com/essentialism-the-disciplined-pursuit-of-less/ I had to read it for a summer class I am taking. I loved it and I can't wait to go through it at my own pace and apply apply and apply the recommendations. My heart aches for simplicity in all things, but I don't know how to get there from here, plus it seems so overwhelming. I also keep telling myself that once I get my degree I will be able to make many changes that are helpful and begin to do things that bring me peace and joy again. I use it as an excuse to not make permanent changes now. This book helped me to look a the big picture - life now and how much better it can be in two years when I get my degree if I start making small changes now rather than doing nothing now.
Fact - sometimes we lose our bearings in the craziness of our lives. Fact - it is still within our abilities to step back and say, "whoa?" I am saying, "Whoa" right now. I am taking a breath. I am reminding myself there is only so much I can get done in a day and sometimes those things have to get completed in a less than perfect environment. I may not be able to get 30 minutes or so for restorative time, but I can run out and take a 10 minute walk outside and experience relaxing benefits. I have made a quick list of things I would like to get done tonight with stars by the ones that must get done. Already, my life is a little more in order.
Okay - thanks for reading! You helped me get to a better place today!
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