God is always wanting us to grow and he wants to help grow us. In the growing process sometimes pruning is required. Well, what can I say, tis the season for me to be pruned. It hurts. Not to mention if you try to ignore it I think God hold those things that are being pruned off in front of us until we acknowledge them. Sometimes I even get poked in the eye by them. It really hurts. You know when a lot of plants get to the point of needing pruned they have a lot of ugliness on them or hiding just beneath the surface. The ugliness keeps the plant from reaching its full potential. Then sometimes, right after the pruning, the plant really looks ugly. But, when pruned correctly ( God can only prune perfectly you know ) then the plant is more beautiful and strong than it ever was before.
I can tell you I know I have become real ugly. All this pruning has made me see I am letting anger rule my world. I am good at being mad - really good. When I am mad I feel no other emotions - which I think often is a good thing. Not so. I am pushing down fear, pushing down pain. While I try to stay pretty on the outside those who know me see the ugly. They are hurt by the ugly. At the beginning of this pruning I thought - Oh, that isn't too bad, I can fix that. But the pruning continued and the branches of my anger kept piling up. I can't deny I must make some changes. The pruning hurts. I think the growing is going to hurt too. But, in the end - if I allow God to continue to prune me and shape me - I will be strong and beautiful.
It's a season. The length of the season depends a lot upon me and my willingness to be pruned and to grow. I sure don't want to try to reattach all those branches. But I know it will be hard to stop "growing" the branches that need to be pruned.
I am thankful God is patient, determined, and committed to me and my growth.
Lots of love,
D. J.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Gentleness Wages Peace
Earlier this week I read a devotion, I am pretty sure it was one from Girlfriends in God, and one little piece of it mentioned "Gentleness wages peace". This has stuck with me since I read it. It keeps popping to mind.
What is it most of us want - we say balance, we say more time, things like that. But what is boils down to is we want productive lives in various areas - but we want it with PEACE. I want peace at home, peace in my business, peace with my family, peace at work, peace with my weight loss, peace with our finances, peace with household chores/cleanliness. When I decide to tackle one of these areas at any given time, I can assure you gentleness is not what I am about. No, no. Watch me stand up, roll my sleeves up, square my shoulders and give it what for until I accomplish what I want accomplished - sometimes there are simply casualties, which leads to guilt, which leads to doubt, which leads to inaction...are you following me here? If I change my approach to gentleness - which is VERY new to me - things appear to change and peace seems to prevail.
I got to test this this morning. My husband was a bit grumpy and had some not so nice things to say to me - via text. It made me MAD! I quickly asked a friend for prayer. Then I was prompted to call my husband which shocked me because I am really bad about speaking now only to really regret it later. I was prompted to tell him I was sorry he was having a bad day. So, I kinda let him vent, then said I understood and sorry he was having a bad day. Then I was prompted to text him...I think I did so pretty gently...much more gently than what is natural for me. But remember - ultimately I want peace between my husband and I, and peace with the issue he was upset about, it is a legitimate issue. So I sent that and immediately sent another that said I love you and I am sorry you are having a bad day. A little time went by but he did text back that he loved me too and that he was sorry he is grumpy. The issue isn't completely resolved, but I do forgive him for being grumpy and I won't bring it up tonight when I get home. I feel pretty confident gentleness is waging peace.
God has been working on me with my priorities...my "need to get this done" list. I believe he gave me that devotion to help me see that I can approach the list differently, better and get a better outcome. Life throws us stress, we bring stress on ourselves....but we don't have to act out of stress. We can choose to be gentle. It's hard. It's harder for me to comprehend than asking for and exercising patience. But I can't help but to believe this is going to be significant for the rest of my life.
Gentleness wages peace.
D. J.
What is it most of us want - we say balance, we say more time, things like that. But what is boils down to is we want productive lives in various areas - but we want it with PEACE. I want peace at home, peace in my business, peace with my family, peace at work, peace with my weight loss, peace with our finances, peace with household chores/cleanliness. When I decide to tackle one of these areas at any given time, I can assure you gentleness is not what I am about. No, no. Watch me stand up, roll my sleeves up, square my shoulders and give it what for until I accomplish what I want accomplished - sometimes there are simply casualties, which leads to guilt, which leads to doubt, which leads to inaction...are you following me here? If I change my approach to gentleness - which is VERY new to me - things appear to change and peace seems to prevail.
I got to test this this morning. My husband was a bit grumpy and had some not so nice things to say to me - via text. It made me MAD! I quickly asked a friend for prayer. Then I was prompted to call my husband which shocked me because I am really bad about speaking now only to really regret it later. I was prompted to tell him I was sorry he was having a bad day. So, I kinda let him vent, then said I understood and sorry he was having a bad day. Then I was prompted to text him...I think I did so pretty gently...much more gently than what is natural for me. But remember - ultimately I want peace between my husband and I, and peace with the issue he was upset about, it is a legitimate issue. So I sent that and immediately sent another that said I love you and I am sorry you are having a bad day. A little time went by but he did text back that he loved me too and that he was sorry he is grumpy. The issue isn't completely resolved, but I do forgive him for being grumpy and I won't bring it up tonight when I get home. I feel pretty confident gentleness is waging peace.
God has been working on me with my priorities...my "need to get this done" list. I believe he gave me that devotion to help me see that I can approach the list differently, better and get a better outcome. Life throws us stress, we bring stress on ourselves....but we don't have to act out of stress. We can choose to be gentle. It's hard. It's harder for me to comprehend than asking for and exercising patience. But I can't help but to believe this is going to be significant for the rest of my life.
Gentleness wages peace.
D. J.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
This is life!
I have not wanted to blog lately. I have felt like a big fat failure as a believer. Ever have those times? I believe we all go through this, so I should blog about it. We all need to know someone else has been there - somehow it's comforting. I am not a failure as a believer, I don't think anyone is as long as the continue to seek God.
You see when things aren't quite going as we would like them to we can usually chalk it up to a Satan attack. For example, Brandy's health issues. Her illness, whatever it is, is not from God. Satan brought disease and illness into this world. So we pray. We pray some more. Sometimes it seems as if we aren't being heard. But we trust, because we know that God is always at work for our behalf. We pray more. Now other things seem to be flaring up. Other things seem to be going downhill. Faith begins to waiver. Satan's "attack thoughts" seem to be defeating our ability to hold our thoughts captive and speaking Gods truth. WE (key word here) do the best we can with EVERYTHING that is going on. This was me, praying over Brandy, praying over our finances, praying over our relationships, praying over the disorder in our house...then "I" would get busy trying to fix all that I could. In all of my praying for months now, several times I said "God I can't do all this" but this little statements was a heart felt complaint -not a heart felt cry of surrender and help. We can go to God and complain all day - but until we surrender our will, accept that we are not in control, and sincerely ask for help - God doesn't step in. He is rather polite in that way - He waits until we invite him. I would also like to say the pride plays a big part in this issue - we as moms and wives, feel like we should be able to do it all without help. While we are much the servant to our families...God does not and did not intend for us to "handle" it all - ever. He is always there for us. When we can get over our pride and ask God for help, he sometimes asks you to further surrender your pride and tells you to reach out. This is even harder for me that reaching out to God. But again, speaking from recent experience, God blesses the obedience and begins to rain down blessing unimaginable.
Now my house is still messy, but there is progress in several areas here - like a husband on board and on the same page with a plan. Our finances - whew - all of a sudden we truly see a light at the end of the tunnel! Brandy - we see Gods hand working with appointments, people he is putting us in touch with and such...plus a new realization that no matter how quickly we get to the bottom of this for me it still won't be quick enough - but God's timing is always perfect. Relationships - I am liking people more than not liking them now....HUGE!
So - there it is!
Lots of love to all who read!
D. J.
You see when things aren't quite going as we would like them to we can usually chalk it up to a Satan attack. For example, Brandy's health issues. Her illness, whatever it is, is not from God. Satan brought disease and illness into this world. So we pray. We pray some more. Sometimes it seems as if we aren't being heard. But we trust, because we know that God is always at work for our behalf. We pray more. Now other things seem to be flaring up. Other things seem to be going downhill. Faith begins to waiver. Satan's "attack thoughts" seem to be defeating our ability to hold our thoughts captive and speaking Gods truth. WE (key word here) do the best we can with EVERYTHING that is going on. This was me, praying over Brandy, praying over our finances, praying over our relationships, praying over the disorder in our house...then "I" would get busy trying to fix all that I could. In all of my praying for months now, several times I said "God I can't do all this" but this little statements was a heart felt complaint -not a heart felt cry of surrender and help. We can go to God and complain all day - but until we surrender our will, accept that we are not in control, and sincerely ask for help - God doesn't step in. He is rather polite in that way - He waits until we invite him. I would also like to say the pride plays a big part in this issue - we as moms and wives, feel like we should be able to do it all without help. While we are much the servant to our families...God does not and did not intend for us to "handle" it all - ever. He is always there for us. When we can get over our pride and ask God for help, he sometimes asks you to further surrender your pride and tells you to reach out. This is even harder for me that reaching out to God. But again, speaking from recent experience, God blesses the obedience and begins to rain down blessing unimaginable.
Now my house is still messy, but there is progress in several areas here - like a husband on board and on the same page with a plan. Our finances - whew - all of a sudden we truly see a light at the end of the tunnel! Brandy - we see Gods hand working with appointments, people he is putting us in touch with and such...plus a new realization that no matter how quickly we get to the bottom of this for me it still won't be quick enough - but God's timing is always perfect. Relationships - I am liking people more than not liking them now....HUGE!
So - there it is!
Lots of love to all who read!
D. J.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Doing it all - not really liking my call these days
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength - Phil 4:13.
Lately I have been saying this scripture to myself because I am really feeling the weight of life. I have also been trying to hold my thoughts captive because I know this is the root of my stinking thinking and being down. In holding my thought captive I have found that when I say this powerful verse, immediately following it I thinkg, Yes, BUT "I" should not have to do it "ALL". My husband should do more, be more loving and caring ( in the non sexual way), be more respective and receptive to my feelings. My kids should be doing more, being more appreciative, and more sensitive. That's NOT holding my thoughts captive. That is where I am though. My plate is over flowing with trying to get on top of our finances, trying to declutter and clean our precious little house, trying to make progress with getting our darling 2 year old to the doctors she needs to see, trying to stay on top of just basic household chores...not to mention, my job, my classes, taxes, and all that fun stuff...oh and did I mention the battle with weight loss!
But this is my call - to be a mom - the most unappreciated occupation in the world, yet, the most important. With the wife role following a close second. I should not be focusing on the earthly approval and appreciation. I should be seeking Gods approval and Gods help.
I would love to always be perky, on top of everything - and quite honestly I believe that's the face I put on most often - but I am not. I would be a liar if I acted or said differently. God knows we will struggle with our call from time to time. He gently guides us, encourages us, and sends us reinforcements. I know sometimes I get clipping along and things are just peachy...and I begin to pat myself on the back and rely less on God...I think that's when things start going down hill. I messed up, I better clean it up...then God will be back with me. Wrong thinking again - When I mess up - if I go pick up the broom and dust pan, I better be taking it to the throne of God and asking if He will help me clean it up rather than trying to clean it myself.
Oh, I could go on and on. Bottom line is - My call is a struggle - but it's still my call, God has a plan and I must humble myself, seek His way and stick to my call. I will be greatly rewarded - God promises!
Lately I have been saying this scripture to myself because I am really feeling the weight of life. I have also been trying to hold my thoughts captive because I know this is the root of my stinking thinking and being down. In holding my thought captive I have found that when I say this powerful verse, immediately following it I thinkg, Yes, BUT "I" should not have to do it "ALL". My husband should do more, be more loving and caring ( in the non sexual way), be more respective and receptive to my feelings. My kids should be doing more, being more appreciative, and more sensitive. That's NOT holding my thoughts captive. That is where I am though. My plate is over flowing with trying to get on top of our finances, trying to declutter and clean our precious little house, trying to make progress with getting our darling 2 year old to the doctors she needs to see, trying to stay on top of just basic household chores...not to mention, my job, my classes, taxes, and all that fun stuff...oh and did I mention the battle with weight loss!
But this is my call - to be a mom - the most unappreciated occupation in the world, yet, the most important. With the wife role following a close second. I should not be focusing on the earthly approval and appreciation. I should be seeking Gods approval and Gods help.
I would love to always be perky, on top of everything - and quite honestly I believe that's the face I put on most often - but I am not. I would be a liar if I acted or said differently. God knows we will struggle with our call from time to time. He gently guides us, encourages us, and sends us reinforcements. I know sometimes I get clipping along and things are just peachy...and I begin to pat myself on the back and rely less on God...I think that's when things start going down hill. I messed up, I better clean it up...then God will be back with me. Wrong thinking again - When I mess up - if I go pick up the broom and dust pan, I better be taking it to the throne of God and asking if He will help me clean it up rather than trying to clean it myself.
Oh, I could go on and on. Bottom line is - My call is a struggle - but it's still my call, God has a plan and I must humble myself, seek His way and stick to my call. I will be greatly rewarded - God promises!
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