This is life!

I have not wanted to blog lately. I have felt like a big fat failure as a believer. Ever have those times? I believe we all go through this, so I should blog about it. We all need to know someone else has been there - somehow it's comforting. I am not a failure as a believer, I don't think anyone is as long as the continue to seek God.

You see when things aren't quite going as we would like them to we can usually chalk it up to a Satan attack. For example, Brandy's health issues. Her illness, whatever it is, is not from God. Satan brought disease and illness into this world. So we pray. We pray some more. Sometimes it seems as if we aren't being heard. But we trust, because we know that God is always at work for our behalf. We pray more. Now other things seem to be flaring up. Other things seem to be going downhill. Faith begins to waiver. Satan's "attack thoughts" seem to be defeating our ability to hold our thoughts captive and speaking Gods truth. WE (key word here) do the best we can with EVERYTHING that is going on. This was me, praying over Brandy, praying over our finances, praying over our relationships, praying over the disorder in our house...then "I" would get busy trying to fix all that I could. In all of my praying for months now, several times I said "God I can't do all this" but this little statements was a heart felt complaint -not a heart felt cry of surrender and help. We can go to God and complain all day - but until we surrender our will, accept that we are not in control, and sincerely ask for help - God doesn't step in. He is rather polite in that way - He waits until we invite him. I would also like to say the pride plays a big part in this issue - we as moms and wives, feel like we should be able to do it all without help. While we are much the servant to our families...God does not and did not intend for us to "handle" it all - ever. He is always there for us. When we can get over our pride and ask God for help, he sometimes asks you to further surrender your pride and tells you to reach out. This is even harder for me that reaching out to God. But again, speaking from recent experience, God blesses the obedience and begins to rain down blessing unimaginable.

Now my house is still messy, but there is progress in several areas here - like a husband on board and on the same page with a plan. Our finances - whew - all of a sudden we truly see a light at the end of the tunnel! Brandy - we see Gods hand working with appointments, people he is putting us in touch with and such...plus a new realization that no matter how quickly we get to the bottom of this for me it still won't be quick enough - but God's timing is always perfect. Relationships - I am liking people more than not liking them now....HUGE!

So - there it is!

Lots of love to all who read!

D. J.