Isn't our spiritual walk/journey so interesting? I don't know about you but I know years ago when I was just becoming aware of the importance of being commitment to this relationship with my Heavenly Father that things were either HIGH or LOW. I was either very aware and super excited about all that God was doing for me or I was in utter despair begging and crying out to God to rescue me. Like a roller coaster. An emotional roller coaster, and a spiritual roller coaster. There were times I drew so near to God and times that I became distant from God - no middle ground. There were times I could feel his presence and know his promptings without any effort and then there were times I felt so alone and isolated. Up and down, Up and down.
Lately though I notice that it is not like that for me anymore. So much so I have asked if maybe I have become desensitized to my relationship with my Father. Wondered if I was falling away and just didn't realize it. You see life is still happening - scary stuff, good stuff, I still make mistakes and need to be rescued from my stupidity, I am still aware of how blessed I am...but there is no ebb and flow.
Let me give you a couple of examples of how life has been happening - just so you know - its still happening.
I keep two checkbooks in my purse. One for two different accounts. I haven't been very good at keeping up with my accounts lately (other than in my head ~ which is a big no no) but today I decided to check in on the accounts. Things didn't add up. I then noticed the checks in each of my check book were actually on the same exact account! Do you know how disastrous this could have been? Life happened in my checkbooks - praise God it just took some ciphering and online transferring and we sidestepped a HUGE mess. God protected us. In the past this could have resulted in an emotional melt down!
Around a month ago I found out I had an abnormal mammogram. For about 45 minutes I battled being in a total tizzy! Years ago this would have been a tizzy from that moment until the doctors told me something for sure. But, God had seen ahead and provided me with a really great newish friend who is a cancer survivor and a believer ~ she was my first contact and she helped bring my brief tizzy to and end and helped shift my focus to the awesome power my master physician has. My bestest friend of many years helped me get into a great clinic for further testing and was with me (physically and spiritually) the whole way!
Big stuff - but I didn't have the high and low going on. For the most part it was just a nice even trust in my heavenly Father. Praise in his protection over me, praise in the fact that He always sees ahead and provides. Today I stay close to Him. I am much better about being in prayer and being in the word. Not because I HAVE to but because I love to! My life has not necessarily become easier or less eventful. But my faith has become my rooted so that I am not easily swayed. I still stress from time to time, I still struggle with being ugly sometimes. But all in all I can tell God has gotten to my core and has changed me down deep. He is still changing me as I will always be a work in progress.
I LOVE Roller coasters ya'all - absolutely love them! But I only love the ones that I choose to get on and then get to get off of in a few short minutes. I don't miss the roller coasters of being a newly committed Christian. I don't miss the roller coasters of the early spiritual journey. I certainly appreciate them and all that I have learned from them but I am SO happy to be on this side. I can't imagine what God has in store for me next but I know it will be awesome! Everyday is awesome with my God!
I hope I am making some sense as you read this or I hope you are being encouraged by it. That's my purpose in posting ~ I want you to be encouraged to stand firm and hold tight to the promises our Heavenly Father has given us. I want you to know that the effort put into this wonderful relationship at the beginning becomes much more natural, easy, and beneficial. Peace is about to overwhelm you like no other ~ even in the midst of life!
Lots of love to all of you!
D. J.
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