Ugh! My plate is overflowing. I could say part of it is my fault, but in all actuality - it may all be my fault. There are two things that are tipping my plate over. My summer online class and the state of a couple of rooms at my house. As I said I could argue that this is only partially my fault - you see I planned on being able to take care of all my class stuff while at work since we went to 4 - 10 hour days for the summer. I knew summer is our busiest time of year but I still thought it would be no problem. BUT this is by far the busiest summer we have ever had and I can't even keep up with may daily incoming work let alone a summer class. Those rooms in my house - I could argue I don't get the help I should from my family. So here is the reality of it all - it the chaos of things and the prideful "I can do it all" attitude I sometimes get - I did not and have not been seeking God before I make decision and I have not been asking or trusting in his guidance, support, and counsel. So therefor - it's my own darn fault. I am at that point with my class where it's bad if I complete it and it's bad if I drop it. There are consequences to our actions and sometimes we have to experience them for the lesson to be driven home.
What's so frustrating is that I even make decisions without seeking God. I know we all do this, we are going along, trusting and seeking God and all is really good. So for some reason we begin to drift and take "ownership" of all the good and subconsciously think we can and do do it all and do it all well. There is a song about that - a girl, rock song. Wish I could think of it. Love it. Than CRASH! That's where I am crashing. Needing a break. Needing a rescue. Needing forgiveness. So frustrated with myself.
Time to become humble again. Time to get a good look at what "self" can result in. Time to refocus, and reconnect with God.
That's where I am this week.
D. J.
No comments:
Post a Comment