How long will the quiet last...

July 19, 2015

It's 4:37 PM and my hubby and daughter are napping.  I have some peace and quiet, the house to myself.   I am tiptoeing around hoping to extend the length of this quiet time.  The past few days have been FULL!  Brandy's birthday was Friday and we literally celebrated the whole day!  Shopping, water park, more shopping~this time to get ready for her party, then we had family and friends over for her party, she had a friend stay the night, family stayed and played games until almost midnight.  My sister and one of my daughters stayed the night too.  The next day Brandy and her little friend played and played and played!  I cleaned up a bit from the day before.  Then we went out to lunch and to drive around our town to show my sister new stuff she hasn't seen before.  We had to run and get a gift for another one of Brandy's friends who was having a party that evening.  We took her overnight friend home and came home for a quick nap.  Off to the park for the birthday party, it started there, went to the splash pad and then a little ice cream place across the street from the splash pad.  From there back to the park for MOVIES IN THE PARK! We got home just before 11:00.  Everybody to bed,  my sister stayed the night again. Then....I could not sleep.  So I got up and worked on homework until after 2 AM.  Up for church ~ there by 7:45.  After church an errand and then out to lunch with my sister, and my oldest daughter and her family, and of course my husband and 8 year old.  We all went back to our house afterwards.  House was empty by 2:15 and it was nap time!  We are all tired.  I don't nap for hours like I used to.  So now I get the benefit of enjoying a quiet house.  However, the 8 year old is stirring.

I savor this time, it is so minimal.  I know when they wake up we will be a full throttle again.  We need to get the house caught up so we can start the week organized and I have homework.  This week is finals week, prayers please, but also PRAISE THE LORD!  I look forward to about 3 weeks of no homework.

A little over a week ago I heard or read about praying for unexpected abundance.  To no pray for it in a specific area but rather to leave that up to God.  Last week my sister and I started reading The Prayer of Jabez together and it discusses praying for Gods blessing - blessing being supernatural favor - again leaving the area or the specifics to God.  Friday I noticed I had an expected deposit in my account.  We would have been okay without it but it was going to be a tight next 7 days, especially with the money we budgeted for Brandy's birthday.  That unexpected abundance took the pressure off.  Thank You God!

Today, pastor preached a great sermon!  I mean really great.  One we all needed to hear but I know my sister needed to hear it especially.  The blessing of teaching and understanding.  God is Good.

It's 4:52 and I hear my stud (husband) getting up.  Looks like my quiet time is over.  I am sure happy I had a few minutes to blog!

Lots of love!

D. J.

Simplicity, Health, Happiness, Gratititude, Love

07/15/15

This has the potential to be a long post.  Before you read go fix yourself a cup of coffee or hot tea and take time to just breathe, read, and relax!

No, really, go get a cup of coffee or tea first.

Okay, let's do this!  Yesterday I mentioned the book Essentialism.  I really can't quit thinking about it and life.  As I said yesterday I do love my life.  I have way more good in my life than I deserve!  Thank you GOD for grace and mercy!  Taking time yesterday to post was a really good thing!  It calmed me and helped me to realistically refocus and remove my frustrations.  Last night I was able to get most of my list that I made done and most importantly Brandy and I made homemade granola bars together.  

This was important to me for a couple of reasons.  First of all, we know making them is a lot more healthy than store bought.  I want Brandy to know that making things is really pretty easy and usually more tasty, not to mention again, more healthy.  Brandy has expressed an interest in helping in the kitchen - I need to encourage that curiosity!  Plus, we simply spent time together actually doing something valuable. This was the highlight of my day.

Back to the book.  Deep down I desire a simpler living.  A better quality of living.  I think I do a lot right and I think I have a lot of right motives but there is also a lot of room for improvement. I have been thinking about things that are most important to me.  We read and hear a lot about developing a type of personal mission statement and that anything outside of that mission statement we should probably avoid or say "no" to.  This has been hard for me because I don't like to limit myself or say no.  The words listed in my title are the things I think I need to focus on, really ponder and clarify what they mean to me.  Today, I am going to do just that in my blog post.  You get to be part of my brain storming!  Hope you are excited!

The first word is Simplicity.  I think this could mean different things to people.  For me it is the idea of "less but better" to quote the Essentialism book.  But it is also being in a state of organization that allows life to flow smoothly.  That may mean doing less to enjoy what you will do even more.  That means planning one grocery trip per week and not going 3 or 4 times during the week because you weren't organized enough to get it planned out.  That means having routines in place that keep my house clean.  Within Simplicity I also think of needing to declutter.  I have a lot of stuff.  You don't necessarily see it when you are in my house because its in cabinets and closets!  It's just stuff that has accumulated over time.  I either needed it at one point in time, but don't now or somehow I acquired it and have never really needed it.  Simplicity also means peace to me.

Health is the next word.  I think I have a ripple affect in what I choose to do.  Be it bad or good.  I want to use this power for good.  (That sentence made me giggle) I have made much progress over the years in the area of health but I am no where near where I want to be. I have been much bigger than I am now, but I am not at a healthy weight.  I have done things physically as a bigger girl that have encouraged other bigger girls.  I did at half marathon at 230 pounds!  I didn't die!  It was awesome!  We really don't realize how many people actually watch us, no matter who we are.  I want what they see in me to encourage them to be better!  My actions also directly impact those in direct contact with me!  I cook, they eat! Ha Ha! So what I cook literally affects their health.  In Brandy's case it will secure in her a healthier set of eating habits ~ which is extremely important considering her disorder.  My husband tends to make better eating choices when our meals are healthier too.  He also sees what I am doing different and picks up on things.  I also feed my parents usually on Saturday and Sunday and sometimes a night or two through the week.  Truth be told, it is probably their healthiest meals of the week.  We also have our daughters and sisters over too...my husband and I neither have any brothers...odd...okay, so, I know my eating choices and food preparations are noticed.  I want them to see a healthy way of eating is doable and is yummy!  I want to eat healthy most of the time.  I want to go several days in a row making solid healthy eating decisions.  To me there is not reason this is not attainable.  I also want to be active everyday.  Ideally, I want to run daily, get in some weight training 2 - 3 times a week and include some stretching.  I love to run, or in my case it is called wogging...a slow jog you know.  I love how I feel when I finish a walk or wog.  It's amazing.  It's even better when it is a fast paced wog.  Physically, mentally and emotionally it's the bomb!  I also want to be able to be very active as an older person.  What I do now affect that.

Let's skip happiness for now and move on to gratitude.  The past couple of weeks the practice of gratitude has made it to my radar.  I have a friend whose husband has been diagnosed with cancer.  Her first husband passed from cancer, her young son beat cancer and now this.  Just a couple of days after getting the news she had a wonderful post about gratitude!  Another one followed.  She was clear in the fact that right now she has every right to be mad, to be grumpy and hateful, but she was making a choice to be thankful.  That hit me right between the eyes.  Monday my daughter, almost 8 year old Brandy, after a pretty awesome day indicated that she wanted more.  So I asked her to instead of focusing on what else she wanted to tell me 5 things she was thankful for so far today.  Things that happened.  She could name two.  This is a HUGE momma fail!  I have not taught her how to truly the thankful.  We teach by example you know!  As I read my book as well I became more aware of the need to be able to express my gratitude.  Ultimately expressing to others and also journaling about gratitude.  It would be very easy to go off on a bunny trail here and tell you my plans for my calendar/planner next year...that needs to be another post though...let me just briefly say, I have plan to journal daily in my planner next year (because the one I have this year STINKS but I hate to buy another since I spent money on this one)...but I should not wait until next year to do this.  So I am trying to add this now without adding another notebook.  Not there yet.  I know one thing I plan to do is to continue to have Brandy tell me things she is grateful for.  It may not be daily, but it will be often.  It will only take a matter of time until she uses this on me when I am complaining about wanting something.  Iron sharpens iron you know. Proverbs 27:17.  I can only imagine the change once gratitude becomes a habit. If any of you actually already do this I would love to hear how it has affected you.

Let's move on to LOVE now.  I love passionately and deeply.  It can be dangerous at times if you challenge or hurt someone I love.  I also resist loving and showing love to those outside my circle of love because, well, it's painful.  But, I don't think God gave me this much love to hold back.  I know this is going to be a big thing over the next year or so, I have a check in my spirit as my spiritual mom would say.  God is preparing me to step outside my comfort zone.  Even in my comfort zone I can hold back.  Love is SO impactful.  I have to be able to share it better and more than I ever have.  I know the power of a hug.  I was in foster care for a period of time and my foster mom hugged me A LOT.  It's hard for me to even type that without becoming emotional.  I didn't really want to be hugged.  But she did it anyway.  She did it often and she hugged so good!  Looking back now, I know she loved me, I know she knew when they brought me into their home that she would most likely fall in love with me and that one day I would go back to one of my parents.  She knew there would be pain.  She did it anyway.  It changed me. As a result I hug and hugged my girls often...big like my foster mom Sue did.  As my big girls were growing up and they would have friends over they got hugged, if I ran into those friends around town, they got hugged.  I can tell you today I have 24 year olds that come up to me for their hug.  I have an emotional attachment to these kids now.  Sometimes I have joy and sometimes I have sorrow over them. Who cares?  They were loved and that's all that matters.  At church when I meet new people I tend to not shake hands, but rather, I try to hug.  It's not easy for me at all in this arena.  I don't tell you this to brag either...I tell you this to challenge you.  Are you being prompted by God to step out of a comfort zone?  Then hop to it!  Anyway, a hug means acceptance in my opinion.  It means love.  People in general have been hurt and rejected.  A hug goes a long way to ease the pain.  I think sometimes it is uncomfortable to hold love in when it is suppose to be poured out.  Even when the process is a bit uncomfortable, even awkward, then end result is usually relief.  Test me on this, I dare you!

Finally, happiness.  Everything I have already mention I want to do in order to honor and glorify God.  I believe these are desires He has given me.  Looking at scripture will simply reinforce this belief.  In all of these things I will seek God.  In all of these things I will grow closer to God.  I know God intends happiness for each one of us.  I did not say God intended a perfect frustration free life for us.  Hello people, satan is still out there and his main goal is to steal our joy!  You kid yourself if you don't realize or believe satan is active and on the prowl to keep you from becoming all that God would have you to be.  I believe through the things I have written about today we create happiness.  I do not believe others make us happy.  I do not believe happiness is necessarily "found" either.  I believe we create it!  Daily! When I think of happiness it encumbers all the things I have written about today.  

Whew! You got a lot of my heart today.  It has done me good to type this out!  Now, I am being prompted to share on facebook...so I will!

Lots of love to each of you today!  Please comment, I really love to hear from you!

Frustrations...

07/14/15

Oh goodness, how do I start this post.  I have a million thoughts going through my head and no time to process a single one.  I get very frustrated when this happens.  Life is good, I love my life, but sometimes it really comes at me full force.  Nothing bad, just a lot to do.  When I have a lot to do I tend to feel like I am failing because I should not allow things to stack up like this.  Yes, I have to remind myself often, I am not superwoman.  It takes a while (like days) for that to sink in sometimes.  This frustration is amplified when I have no quiet/down time.  My lunch hour is usually that quiet/down time, or sometimes after everyone is in bed.  This week, my little one is working with me.  A camp she was enrolled in for this week has cancelled.  She isn't hard to watch, however, she talks or snaps, or makes noises with her mouth, or has her kindle up just a little too loud.  This is my week to work four 10 hour days.  So for that time we are in my 10x10 office together.  

I killer her hamster yesterday.  That didn't help my failure thoughts at all!  It was a little past time to clean his cage and I felt bad for him so before I left for work yesterday we put his cage on the back porch.  I just knew he would love the breeze and the significant change of scenery.  Apparently hamsters are rather sensitive to temperature...I do believe yesterday was the hottest day of the year so far.

As I type this I think of something I need to do and wander of to take care of it.  Ha!

I have not been making healthy eating choices the past couple of days.  In fact, I have let my frustrations get the best of me and I have emotionally eaten.  I hate that!  I should be so over emotional eating by now.  Today I am doing well so far.  

So seriously, this time I am taking to type this post is my time to breathe and refocus.  To get a grasp on reality again instead of living and reacting to the lie that I have no control over my time right now.  I just finished a book titled Essentialism by Greg McKeown.  I think everybody should read this book.  Here is a link to help convince you to buy the book and read it: http://gregmckeown.com/essentialism-the-disciplined-pursuit-of-less/  I had to read it for a summer class I am taking.  I loved it and I can't wait to go through it at my own pace and apply apply and apply the recommendations.  My heart aches for simplicity in all things, but I don't know how to get there from here, plus it seems so overwhelming.  I also keep telling myself that once I get my degree I will be able to make many changes that are helpful and begin to do things that bring me peace and joy again.  I use it as an excuse to not make permanent changes now.  This book helped me to look a the big picture - life now and how much better it can be in two years when I get my degree if I start making small changes now rather than doing nothing now.

Fact - sometimes we lose our bearings in the craziness of our lives.  Fact - it is still within our abilities to step back and say, "whoa?"  I am saying, "Whoa" right now. I am taking a breath.  I am reminding myself there is only so much I can get done in a day and sometimes those things have to get completed in a less than perfect environment.  I may not be able to get 30 minutes or so for restorative time, but I can run out and take a 10 minute walk outside and experience relaxing benefits.  I have made a quick list of things I would like to get done tonight with stars by the ones that must get done.  Already, my life is a little more in order.  

Okay - thanks for reading!  You helped me get to a better place today!

Withdrawals or a bug?

07/08/15 9:22 PM

I spent the day at home today.  I woke up with a pretty good headache.  Soon after my stomach was pretty upset.  The stomach cleared up in about 3 hours.  The headache remained all day, I still have it as I type this.  It kinda felt like it might be sinus related.  I ran my essential oils diffuser most of the day. I would get up and say, fold a load of laundry, and then have to sit back down because it wore me out.  I just had minimal energy.  I honestly don't know if it was a bug or withdrawals.  This is day 4 I think of being back on Whole30.  I certainly didn't do this when I did my original whole30.  I did get rather sleepy/tired but that is all that I remember. My hubby didn't feel to swift yesterday or today so perhaps it was a but.  Either way, I started thinking about withdrawals.  I think its amazing how quickly our bodies become dependent upon things that aren't good for them.  I think is amazing that they respond the way they do to eliminating the bad stuff. I don't think I want to go through this any more than necessary so I am encouraged to really really watch the amount of sugar and carbs that I allow myself in the future.  It really needs to be minimal.  The weeks that I was off the program I didn't really go crazy but I did allow myself to have breads and sweets.  I would say I consumed less than the average person would.  I am surprised, if this is withdrawals, at how intense it is.

At the same time I have felt this way today I know either way, its just temporary. Seriously in very few days I know I will be feeling pretty awesome.  I look forward to it!  It's enough to keep me staying the course.

I don't know if I mentioned this in an earlier post but if I did forgive me.  I am astonished that my weight did not quickly jump back up on the scale.  Eating off of Whole30 I went down a bit and then up a whopping 3 pounds.  Basically, in a month I was up only 3 pounds.  Folks, I am telling you, it's no big deal for me to gain 5 pounds in a week!  So, only 3 pounds is phenomenal!

Today it rained all day!  I do love a rainy day, so that was actually a perk of not feeling good.  As I sat or laid in my chair I looked out our back doors and watched the rain.  It didn't even make it to 80 degrees today.  For July in Oklahoma - that is just not normal.  This evening I went outside and noticed the tree frogs are pretty darn loud tonight.  They make me smile.  I saw a few lightning bugs too.  Again, I smiled.  I do wish we were a bit out of town so that we could hear and enjoy nature a little bit more.  But, still, it's pretty cool.  For a girl from Washington, I would say somehow I have ended up being a country girl.  I love my hometown in Washington, it has a whole different set of loves.  If I had the opportunity to choose between here or there now....man it would be hard.

In one of my classes I am having to read this book titled - Essentialism.  WOW!  I rented the book for class.  I will be "returning" the book and then buying it back from them.  There is no way someone could read this book and not make notes and highlights.  I can't imagine anybody reading this book and not finding value in it, life application for improved quality of life!   This is me telling you - go buy to book and read it!

That's all for today my friends!  Sleep well!

D. J.

Quick Post!

07/06/ 15 10:56 PM

Just real quick.  I was Whole30 all the way today.  Got my new Tomtom GPS watch today.  Going to switch to mapmyfitness for a while instead of my fitbit and see how I like it. Way excited to use my Tomtom!  I am trying it because I am tired of depending on my iphone GPS to work...it doesn't.

Spent a lot of time talking to God today. Seriously, throughout the day.  I wish I had words here - I just love being in His presence.  I love hearing from him.  When I get all caught up with what is going on around me, even though it's good stuff, I lose my focus on God.  I allow the busyness of life to distract me.  Keeping God at the forefront in the midst of a busy life helps in so many ways.  I need it and long for it.

That's all for today - told you it was going to be quick!

D. J.

07/05/15 9:34 PM

Today has been a thought filled day.  Notelling  where this post may go and end up!  

I am totally wishing for another day off work! Even though I had days off I still "worked"! Friday I worked on getting half of my house super cleaned. Yes, I am still without my little house keeper.  Saturday I  did big grocery shopping, kept trying to clean but didn't have much success, then of course we had the fourth of July celebration! Today I was up early to get to church (great service!!). We did proclaim today a nap day and oh my goodness it was nice! We had our old people over for dinner and it was super nice outside in our back porch. Then we picked up the half of the house I super cleaned back up...kinda...and I am tired. Like worn out!! So I am torn between wanting another day to just recoup and getting back to my routine of a work week.  

I want life to slow down a bit. I want to be done with school.  I want to be set in a routine that allows me to be healthy and physically active, laid back and simple.  Tomorrow is work and homework. I am less than 2 years from graduating. Some days I am amazed at how far I have come and how close I am to the finish. Other days I am thinking I am never going to make It another 2 years.

I stayed on Whole30 today. :-) I am having trouble with hip/knee pain when I am sleeping. I did not have the pain when I was hard core on Whole30 - I need the pain to stop! I have also noticed my grumpiness has resurfaced. Something that disappeared when I was eating Whole30.  I also didn't fret as much.  I can't wait to get another 5-6 days under my belt again, I know I will see/feel the improvement! 

God spoke to me in a pretty cool way today.  I was in church listening to the sermon and had a very odd thought come into my head. I kinda asked myself "where did that come from?" God clearly said - your husband has been praying! My husband was ushering today and was taking care of the lobby. I sent him a text and asked if he had been praying about me or us...why I was waiting for his response I asked God what my husband was praying about and man did he start giving me a list. I started writing them down. Finally my husband responded and do you know what??? The list my hubby provided pretty much matched the list I had written. One item was odd..and it was on both lists. I felt so loved and so hopeful! My lord, my God loves me and so does my hubby...it was super evident today!

Ok - that's my post for today! I am going to bed! 

Thanks for reading!! My mind is still going so be sure to check back tomorrow!

D. J.

Well, here we are again.

07/02/15 8:54 PM

First of all I want to say that I love Sleepy Time tea.  I love celestial seasonings teas!  I just made a cup. I just took in a deep breath of the wonderful aroma, ahhhhh, the first sip is just so good!

Okay, now for an update.  Life not on Whole30 is rough.  I am not as good as I would like to be at sticking to this healthier way of eating "most" of the time.  I feel like I have given up my control over food.  I haven't given in though.  I am just having a rough go of it.  Food beckons me again, and I find it hard to resist.  So I think I really have to be all in for designated amounts of time.  I also have to have and I have to be prepared.  That's a big given!  That is also something I haven't really done for a while.

I thought about another public announcement would be bit weird.  I mean I just came off 60 days of Whole30 and now I am going to do it again..a bit psycho?  With a little less boldness required I am gust going to announce it on my blog! Ha Ha!  It does help when I journal my adventures so guess what my wonderful blog readers???You get to enjoy the day by day again!  I promise to mix this up with other stuff so the blog isn't all about healthy eating.

Tomorrow, back on Whole30.  I have also committed to 20 minutes of activity per day for July.  Yesterday Brandy and I walked around our "block" for 20 minutes.  Tonight was rainy and stormy so Allison and I went to the gym.  I did a fat burn program on the treadmill, it wasn't hard, but my hiney and thighs are not happy now.  I am, I love "feeling" the work out.

Okay - for fun - how about some random facts about me?

Married 25 years to the same man.  We have had ups and downs to the extreme, we have had to work hard and it's been totally worth it.  I think hard work always pays off.  I love him more than I could ever begin to express.

My favorite color is pink.  I love coffee - just black is best - every now and then I shake it up with a latte and very rarely with some sugar.  I love my birthday.  I love my family.  I firmly believe in God and his Word, and that He gave his one and only son for me...You too, in case you didn't know.

I love to read.  I am 44 years old and have been in college for about 7 years now.  I plan on getting my accounting degree.  It's never too late.

I struggle with confidence but like who I am...does that even make sense?  I am continually trying to improve -to be the best me - I believe it is literally a life long process.

Is there anything you want to know?  Ask away!  No guarantees that I will answer, ,but I probably will.

Thanks for reading! I really do appreciate that you are curious enough to read.

D. J.