My efforts to keep my faith have been rewarded today! Two weeks ago we prepared and hand delivered Brandy's application to the Shriner's to a Shriner in Muskogee. Today, in the mail we received the letter approving her application! Her first appointment will be November 10th. I struggled with this GREATLY! I even put a call out to my facebook friends asking for scriptures to use ~ repeat to myself ~ when thoughts of doubt would creep in. When those thoughts came, and did they come!!!, I would read one of those scriptures or I would just pray and thank God that He was at work on this one. I refused to NOT believe this was going to happen. To many indicators pointed to the fact that God was opening doors for us to even get as far as actually preparing the application. But still, I fought thoughts of, "what if I want this so much I am just making it seem like God is opening a door"....oh Satan...you lose again! Victory belongs to Jesus!
At church Sunday our youth pastor spoke about FACTS v. TRUTH. I had pretty much always lumped them together. But as I sat there listening a little thought popped ( I believe God put it there) into my mind. "FACTS say there is not a cure for Brandy's disorder, TRUTH says GOD HEALS!" Praise God! Praise God! Praise God! Believing for healing and doing all I can and should do as this precious childs mom to make her as strong and healthy as she can be from a human perspective. Putting her in Gods hands to do all that I can not do.
I am ashamed at how much I struggle to pray and believe for answers. Humbled when God does answer them despite my lack of full faith. God loves Me. That is so hard for me to accept sometimes. Though I know beyond a shadow of a doubt he loves everyone so much. To allow my self to focus on the fact that HE LOVE ME is enough to bring tears to my eyes and to bring me to my knees.
Lots of love to all!
D. J.
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