No really - too quiet

You know when things quiet down, we have no choice but to look around at what is going on around us and with us. I am seeing many areas that need some improvement. I think there is definite purpose in the calm. Certainly it is for a breather, if you will. But is also a time to re-evaluate things. This is kinda the direction I was moving, but it is becoming more clear to me as this time of quiet lingers. I really do like it, even though seeing some of these areas that I need to improve in is a little frustrating, I am thankful for the time and the insight.

I have realized that during the chaos we have been going through the past few months my tone and my words have really become bad. My little 2 year old has been telling me repeatedly, "Momma, be nice", I thought, "oh how cute" then would tell her "Momma is nice baby". Little did I know God was trying to tap me on the shoulder gently to get me to see the error of my ways. Last night I was hurt and frustrated and totally said something I did not mean to my husband. I was shocked as soon as the words came out of my mouth. But I was also too prideful and to hurt to apologize until the morning. I let that wound I inflicted on my husband fester over night. How awful! I feel wretched. I feel bad about what I said, about not apologizing and even madder that I screwed up so bad. You can't just take words back, especially when you wait to apologize. I was also reminded in my devotion that the devil is always lurking seeking who / what he can destroy...and that we are to be ALERT to this. Our marriages and our families are the most precious gifts we are given. I believe whole heartedly Satan is trying to destroy any and every family he can. I must STAY ALERT!

Hope this helps someone else! Goodness knows I would like my sharing to spare you from a similar mistake.

D. J.

It's all quiet - panic or breathe?

Well life is awfully quiet right now. I am just not used to that. It's one thing to find rest in the Lord when life is coming at you both barrels blazing - but it's quite another to JUST rest when life is peaceful. I must be honest - I am anxious about it. I am waiting for something to go wrong. It's hard to just accept that life has these moments too and they are a gift, a blessing to be enjoyed.

Sure, I still have a lot on my todo list - I mean A LOT. But nothing on my YOU MUST DO THIS TODAY LIST OR ELSE! I don't normally function like this so it is hard. Part of my wants to rush and tackle my todo list, part of me just wants to chill, but what if this peaceful break is over to soon....it's crazy isn't it?

I am beginning to think maybe this is time God is giving me to collect my thoughts, get them all on paper and to make a plan. I have been shooting from the hip for months now, only doing what MUST be done and letting everything else slide. Am I being beckoned to be still and listen?

Your feedback is appreciated!

Odd past few days

What can I say. I have just had an odd past week. I blame it on trying to adjust to Bobby working days and his being back at work, and the fact that I have been out of town the past two weekends for my daughters cheer competitions. Everything is out of order right now. My house isn't close to clean, my dinner menus are not planned and my cabinets are rather bare. It's mid term at school. Almost spring break. I am just out of the chaotic pattern I consider normal. I am not hear nor there and at times I am paralyzed by the magnitude of what needs to be done, preferably today. I am also physically tired! This just compounds everything. Spiritually speaking - other than may daily prayer at work with a friend...I have been lazy. So while I am leaning on God to help me muddle through until free time pops up and I am feeling rested enough to start tackling these things. Meanwhile, I must do what I know to do with this moment. As I am typing this God is gently whispering to me, but this is still a time to shine. Especially with my family. When things are out of whack anywhere - I (and I think I could safely say "we" and cover most mothers and wives out there) tend to take it out on my family. They see the worst of me. I am truly at MAJOR FAULT when I allow that to happen. Sure, they could help more, do more, pick up after themselves, offer to go to the store and such...but not matter what they could do different - I should not be ugly, grumpy, and short with them. I choose my attitude and I choose my responses. If I am ever in doubt, the safest thing would be to just shut up! I also have to learn, especially during times like this, to take care of myself. This is not the time to give up on eating right - as the wrong eating compounds the feelings of exhaustion and such - it's not the time to stop getting activity in. We - or I guess I mean I, tend to compound our own issues. Again, every day situations - no matter what - are a time to shine and to glorify God. You never know who is watching or hearing about how we handle life. I must speak to my family tonight and apologize for my not so Godly behaviors this week. That is so hard, but God keeps putting this thought in my mind. I choose to obey and I will apologize tonight.

Hope this blog causes you to ponder...

Lots of love,

D. J.

Just Praise God!

My goodness - God is Good! So so so Good. Today I have a lot on my mind - not necessarily worry - just a lot that needs to be done NOW and thinking about it, not having enough time to get it done in a day or time to get a plan together to get it done, also all that is just going on in life with family, friends and such. So, when I get all caught up in it - I just have to PRAISE GOD - is this easier said than done?, sometimes. Today, not so much. We went to the specialist for my precious little girl yesterday and just felt confirmation from the Lord that this is the doctor for her! It was an OVERWHELMING sense of confirmation. I PRAISE GOD for this. Praising God tends to bring things back into a realistic focus. Praising God reminds me to put it ALL in HIS perfectly capable hands. Everything that needs to be done, all the people that I think about and love, all that the future holds...ALL of it! Then just seek God for today - do what He guides you to do today - and TRUST for all that doesn't get done today. Be obedient to His guidance. Be good stewards of the time He has given us for this day. I PRAISE GOD that I do not have to face a single day or a single task on my own. I PRAISE GOD that I am not left to my own devices. I PRAISE GOD for loving me so deeply I truly can't comprehend the magnitude of it! God is Good! God is trustworthy! God wants more for us than we can imagine wanting for ourselves...so put it ALL in Gods hands and just simply praise him!

D. J.

A Calmer Week than Normal - Nice

Ahhhhh...the calm! I choose to believe this is just a gift from God and not the assumed calm before the storm. I choose to enjoy this gift. It has been a crazy busy week, but a good kind of crazy. A lot is getting done. I can see forward progress being made. I am hearing from God, and I am listening and responding! There have been a few things that have been troubling me this week. I have been amazed at the devotions I have been reading each day - they are touching on the exact things that are troubling me. Isn't God so good! Even if I am too lazy to sit down, open my bible and actually read His work, He will still bless me and put His word, direction, and comfort right in front of my face. I love that He want to permeate my very being with HIM! I love that He loves me that much. I am encouraged by it. I feel like I am actually valuable - I am worth His attention. I like feeling this way! I want to just bask in it! You know the world can rob us of this feeling - it can cause us to forget the love and adoration we have from our Heavenly father - but this can only happen if we let the worlds words and such count more than our Father's word. It's our choice. It's hard to consciously shift that choosing, but it can be done. I am getting better and better at it. I encourage you to do the same. God loves you the exact same amount that he loves me. That's just how he is.

I also want to encourage you to find a daily devotion - whether it is a book or online. There are so many available and easily accessible - do it! Then pray! I have this great co-worker christian friend. We decided over a year ago that we needed to cover our office in prayer as the other 3 are not believers. Everyday, after I read a devotion, I get on yahoo chat, connect to her and I pray...she responds and is in agreement with the prayer and we have just covered our office! It's amazing - and we have seen so much that is undeniably God in action. We have told our co-workers that we have been praying over this or that specifically and God answered our prayers...It's so cool!

Anyway! That's all for this week!

D. J.

Happy Anniversary - Praise God!

Well God has just been so evident in my life these days, undeniably evident! I love it! I can't remember if I mentioned in my last post that my husband has finally been switched to a day shift! 3 years of working nights! My little precious daughter has got her appointment with the specialist.

Yesterday my husband and I celebrated our 20th Wedding Anniversary! Let me tell you, this is by God's love and grace! We have had our bad years, that is for sure. God has brought us through so much and we are such better people, parents, and friends as a result. Our love for each other is unmeasurable! Our relationship isn't perfect but it is truly blessed. Marriage is kinda like our Christian walk - it is always a work in progress, there is always an area that needs improvement.

My husband and I are now beginning to tackling our money woes. Dave Ramsey - Financial Peace University. This is such a scary area - we have never really been in agreement on our finances or even on the same page for that matter - I see this as an opportunity to grow in our relationships with God and our relationship with each other. I know it will be hard to do all we are going to do over the next few months with our finances, but we will be doing it together and in unity. The outcome will be unity in our finances and control of our finances! I am sure there will be more outcomes as well that I can't even imagine as God works through this with us.

I've been prompted to be in prayer for my husband, our finances, and my personal relationship and growth with God. It's an odd prompting - not like one I have had before. The need to have a daily prayer time keeps coming to my mind as well. My best, most available and uninteruptable time is bright an early - like 5 am. This is hard for me. I want to, but my body doesn't like the thought of it too much.

So, that's where I am this week. Lot's of love to all who read this!

D. J.

Still Holding On

Last week my little one broke her leg for the 3rd time in 7 months. Same leg, same spot. We have been attempting to get an approved referral from our Hospital to a specialist as we know there is a health issue prior to this 3rd break. With this break I have struggled greatly in holding on to the promises - but God is so good. Yesterday when I was sure I could not take one more drop to the burden I was bearing He gave me a glimpse of His hand at work. It wasn't the approved referral, it wasn't manifested healing, it was just a small gesture that showed me beyond a shadow of a doubt that God knows how I feel, He knows I am afraid, He knows my specific fears, He is with me. The small gesture relieved A LOT of my anxiety and renewed my faith. I am back to the scripture that got me through so much quite a few years ago, Jeremiah 29:11. Back then it was to save my marriage, today it is to heal my daughter and to help me through each day until healing is complete.

I have a mental picture today - Here I am hanging on this rope, the rope is made up of Gods Word - Jeremiah 29:11 is where my grasp is, and I am looking up and see that God is holding on even tighter to the other end of the rope, let me telling you He is not letting go and He is even pulling me closer to him... while I am hanging onto this rope words of doubt, are flying by me, even hitting me trying to get me to be distracted from holding on and looking to God - I can read them so they are easily distracting me, I have to choose to look at the rope, adjust my grasp and look to God - KNOWING HE IS PULLING ME CLOSER.

I just told my sister in law the other day that I think we all have seasons of tears. I am in a tearful season again, and it's okay, I know the seasons change.

I pray your rope is the Word of God today.